• Money;
• Complex care arrangements; and
• Keeping the kids occupied

For separated or divorced families, these issues can often be magnified.  Often the school holidays can bring a stark reminder of the current situation that family life has changed.  Naturally this can be painful.

I often deal with families who are looking for help in these situations.  There are legal solutions to arrangements for the school holidays but here are some practical tips to help you if are finding the summer holidays a bit tricky to manage.

1. The key is to get organised. Make a list of the holiday dates that you need to cover. Rally your ex and your extended family as much as you can.  Factor in annual leave and holiday clubs.  In particular make sure you factor in the costs of these clubs in to any negotiations that you have with your ex as these can be very expensive.
2. Another issue with the school holidays as a divorced or separated family is that children can often feel that things are out of control particularly if they are older and have a greater understanding. Try adding holiday dates and care arrangements to a calendar.  Show the calendar to the children so that they know where they are and feel involved.
3. Make sure that you spread out time so that each parent gets to spend quality time together with the children.
4. Involve the children in key decisions. This is easier the older the children are but an important factor in helping children coming to terms with the new arrangements.  Work out the ground rules as a couple with your children for example whether older children can be left at home alone, whether they can catch public transport, bed times and homework times so that you are coordinated on key issues.
5. Flexibility is key particularly if you are newly separated or divorced. What may work now may not work next time around or indeed as children get older.  For example, younger children may be better with short frequent visits whereas older children may be better staying for a whole weekend.
6. Make sure you and your ex do consult on holiday arrangements. When you are feeling angry or upset (to name but a few common emotions of divorced couples) it is easy to try to use contact as a bargaining tool.  Try to be fair to each other.  You need to remember that whilst you are no longer a couple you will always be parents and will always have to consult on parental issues.  This is always easier if you can try to get along.  Remember, any consultations should not be done in front of the children – set aside separate time to discuss arrangements so that each parent makes the most of their time with the children.

Trips abroad frequently cause disagreements between divorced parents and I often find myself liaising with parents over this issue.  Naturally one parent is concerned when the other wishes to take a child out of the country without them.  It raises all sorts of issues not least separation anxiety.  The key to dealing with this is communication.  Make sure that you tell your ex the itinerary, timings of flights and so forth.  Make sure you check things like a bedtime routine, sun cream usage, medication requirements and food likes/dislikes to ease your ex’s anxiety.

If you do encounter difficulties from your ex about taking your child abroad you may need to seek Court permission.  Make sure you factor this in before you book any holidays abroad.

Finally, extended family can often be forgotten when parents are separated or divorced.  But don’t forget that grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles form an important part of a child’s life.  Further they can provide vital alternative care during the school holidays to ease the stress and worry of covering child care.

I hope that you find the above tips helpful.  If however, you are having difficulties communicating and agreeing terms with your ex about holiday care, please do contact us on 01905 349217 (Worcester office) / 01902  302969 (Wolverhampton office) or e-mail  robsherrey@sherreysolicitors.com

The post How to cope with the school holidays when you are divorced. appeared first on Sherrey And Associates Solicitors.

In our latest blog we explore what an LPA is and the reasons why we believe we should all have one.

What is an LPA?

An LPA is a legal document appointing someone as your legal representative in the event that you become incapacitated and unable to deal with your own affairs.  Incapacity could come from old age, but also from a brain injury or a physical injury following an accident or illness that means that you are unable to communicate your wishes or manage your own day to day affairs.

LPAs can give an appointed person (who you choose) the power to deal with matters covering finances and health and wellbeing such as medical treatment and living arrangements.

LPAs do not give the appointed person instant power over your affairs.  It’s use needs to be triggered – this is often by a medical diagnosis of incapacity.

So why should we all have an LPA?

1. You are in control of the LPA

When creating your LPA you name the person (or persons, as you can have more than one attorney) you want as your attorney – someone you trust to deal with your affairs in your best interests. If you lose capacity without an LPA the Court of Protection would be left to appoint who they think is the most appropriate attorney for you.  That may not necessarily be the same person that you would have chosen.

Further, when creating your LPA, you set the limits of the attorney’s power.  You can give them the ability to deal with matters relating to your finances/property and/or your personal welfare.  You do not have to give power over both and you can limit power as you see fit (although it’s a good idea to consider any limitation carefully so as not to restrict power so much as to make it impossible to exercise).

2. Court of Protection

Many people worry about giving another person too much power over their assets and affairs.  Firstly, it is important to bear in mind that the LPA  would only be triggered by your own incapacity.  Secondly, the Court of Protection can revoke LPAs of they see fit.  The Office of the Public Guardian can be informed of an abuse of power and intervene so there are in essence three ‘layers’ of protection for individuals with active LPAs.

3. It’s quicker than a court application

If you don’t have an LPA and you lose capacity, those close to you would need to make an application to the Court of Protection to be able to deal with your affairs.  The process can be costly and is always time-consuming.  Families would not have access to any of your assets in the meantime which may leave them out of pocket if immediate care/treatment needs funding.    An LPA avoids the need for an application to Court as families would have the necessary authority already.

4. Peace of mind

The thought of losing capacity is an uncomfortable one.  But it is vital to think about these things when you are in good health and capable of making sensible decisions.  Having an LPA in place is the best way to ensure that your affairs are dealt with as you wish should the worst happen giving both you and your family peace of mind.

At Sherrey and Associates we advise all our clients to make an LPA as well as a Will for full protection and peace of mind for both themselves and their families.  For more information about both our Will writing service and LPAs, please contact the office on Worcester 01905 349217 or Wolverhampton 01902 302969.

The post Why we should all have an LPA appeared first on Sherrey And Associates Solicitors.

There are 6 million cohabiting couples in the UK, representing 17% of all families. With this number set to increase over the coming years, it is becoming more apparent than ever that the current legal framework in England and Wales leaves these couples and families in vulnerable legal positions when it comes to death or separation.

Many people mistakenly rely on a concept of ‘common law marriage’ There is no such thing! The harsh reality however is that unmarried couples encounter issues such as:

• No entitlement to a partner’s pension on death;
• No right oxandrolone anavar crossfit to partner’s share of property or other assets on death (including the house you share with them);
• No right to support or financial assistance in the event of separation – even where children are involved.

To name but a few common ones.

In worst case scenarios, you will be palestra evolution villa adriana left with nothing.  Positive action is therefore required by parties to secure protection of their interests.

As part of Resolution’s Cohabitation Awareness Week, we look here at some of the ways in which unmarried couples can protect themselves.

A Will

The advice of any legal professional will always be that anyone with assets or children or both should have a Will.  This becomes all the more important for cohabitees.

If the worst happens and you do not have a valid Will, division of assets will be dealt with under the Intestacy Rules.  These Rules do not make any provisions for a cohabiting partner but merely look to the bloodline of the deceased – for example, children, parents or other family.  Claims can be made by the surviving partner under the Inheritance (Provision for Family and Dependants) Act 1975, but as with many legal processes, this can be slow, costly and without guarantees of success at the end.  Further the surviving cohabitee could be prohibited from living in the deceased’s home if it was not in shared ownership.

A Will setting out the specific wishes of cohabitees makes things a lot clearer in these circumstances.

Inheritance Tax

Married couples benefit from certain inheritance tax exemptions e.g. on gifts and by way of transfer of their spouse’s nil rate band.  Unmarried couples do not receive such benefits.  Therefore when making a Will, it is always useful for couples to consider any IHT implications.

Property

This is probably the biggest area of concern (aside from children) that many cohabiting couples have.

When couples buy a property together (or in some instances agree that one becomes entitled to a share) it is vital that the ownership structure and intentions on death are clear and properly recorded.  We would always recommend to clients that this is done formally with the Land Registry to avoid any dispute or delay at a later date.

Property can either be held as joint tenants (whereby upon death of one the property automatically goes to the other without the need for a Will and regardless of the intestacy rules) or as tenants in common (whereby parties own a specific defined share that can be disposed of as they wish upon death).  It is important to bear in mind that when holding a property as tenants in common you could gift your share of the property in a Will to a third party but you may wish to allow your partner to remain occupation until their death.

Cohabitation Agreement

This is like a prenuptial agreement and can set out things such as:

• What happens on separation;
• Who is responsible for household expenditure and in what proportions;

Cohabitation agreements can help settle disputes but they are also a useful discussion tool for couples to set out their intentions at the outset.

It is important to remember however that cohabitation agreements are not set in stone.  The Court can set these aside if circumstances have changed since they were created e.g. if you have had children.  They should therefore be reviewed and updated regularly.

At Sherrey & Associates we are experienced in helping cohabiting couples either with a cohabitation agreement or through some of the more complex issues arising in the absence of an agreement.  For further information about how we can help please visit our website or give us a call on Worcester 01905 349217/Wolverhampton 01902 302969.

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Arising out of this, we have witnessed a shift in people’s needs relating to a divorce.  Of course, some clients want and need the reassurance of an expert to guide them through every aspect of the process and handle this for them.  They like the distance that is created between them and their partner when dealing with things like finances and child care arrangements.  However, there are some clients for whom this level of involvement from solicitor is unnecessary.  For them, a DIY divorce can be the perfect solution.

 So what does this involve and how does it work?

In order to get a divorce, you must have been married for 1 year.  One party needs to be resident in England and Wales in order to apply for a divorce.  Further, you must have a valid reason for a divorce. These are:

• Adultery
• Unreasonable behaviour
• Desertion
• 2 years’ separation with consent
• 5 years’ separation

There must be no hope of salvaging the marriage.

If you can comply with the above criteria, a D8 Divorce Petition must be completed confirming the above information.  This form can be obtained online or from the Court.

Once completed, the Divorce Petition needs to be lodged at Court with the relevant fee (currently £550) and your marriage certificate.

A Judge will review the divorce  Petition and (assuming both parties agree to the divorce) check for the following:

• The Petition is completed correctly;
• That the law has been complied with;
• That the Family Proceedings Rules have been complied with.

If  the above is in order, the Judge will grant a Decree Nisi.  This is, in essence, an interim divorce certificate.  It confirms an entitlement to a divorce after a mandatory 6 week cooling off period (in case the parties change their minds – which can and does happen!).

After 6 weeks, the parties can apply for a Decree Absolute.  That will officially dissolve the marriage.

 So what is our view of the DIY divorce?

The above sounds like a simple process and to a certain extent, we do praise the birth of the DIY divorce.  In the past (particularly during the recent recession and shortly thereafter), couples have been almost forced to stay together due to the costs of engaging a lawyer to deal with their divorce.   Certainly, anecdotally we had clients who could not divorce or sell their property due to the precarious nature of their joint finances and fear of the costs involved.   Clearly this is not a healthy position for either individual.  A lower cost and simplified divorce has made it a more viable option for these couple who can then go their separate ways and get on with their lives.

However, a DIY divorce must be approached with a degree of caution.  Like any legal process there are guidelines and timelines to be adhered to.  Remember, the rules and procedures are written by lawyers for lawyers.

The drafting of a divorce petition requires care and attention.  A Judge will only grant a Decree Nisi if completed correctly to the letter of the law.  If not, directions will be issued which could not only delay the divorce but could result in additional Court fees for amendments.

Use of emotive language, finger-pointing and blaming or an overly aggressive approach in a Divorce Petition can only serve to anger the other party.  Your amicable divorce may then not be as amicable as you set out to be.  This could also then have a detrimental effect on other aspects of the divorce process such as children and finances.

Further, miss a court deadline and the consequences could be disastrous.!

Lawyers are experienced in drafting divorce papers to achieve the desired result but also in maintaining the communication channels to assist the reminder of the process.  Further, the standard divorce process is not necessarily the acrimonious court room battle that it perhaps once was (or perceived to be).  Many divorces are dealt with ‘on paper’ without the parties ever even entering a Court room.

An approach that we prefer is to help clients on a flexible basis, being upfront about costs and assessing carefully the needs of our clients on a case by case basis.  By taking this approach we can ensure that we understand our clients’ requirements and desired outcome as well as the level of involvement (or not) that they want from us.

We offer a fixed fee divorce so that clients are clear on costs right at the start of the process.  We also offer flexible finance packages to help clients budget accordingly for the legal fees of a divorce.  Our experience is that clients find this approach refreshing and helps to ease the worry about how they will finance their divorce.

Further, we are Resolution accredited lawyers.  This means that we follow a strict Code of Practice set down by Resolution and agree to deal with family law matters in a constructive and conciliatory manner, taking in to account the best interests of all parties concerned, particularly the interests of children.   For a more detailed look at the Resolution Code of Practice that we follow, click here

By adopting this approach, we can help clients achieve the right outcome for them and their families, helping all parties to move on with their lives in due course.

For more information about our approach to the divorce process or any aspect of family law, please see our website http://www.sherreysolicitors.com/ or call us on Worcester 01905 349217 or Wolverhampton 01902 302969

The post The DIY Divorce trend appeared first on Sherrey And Associates Solicitors.

Many people worry about giving up power over their affairs when they create an LPA.  But it’s important to remember that Attorneys can’t act on the LPA until such time as you lose capacity.

Did you know that you can name replacement Attorneys in your LPA?  It is common to appoint two Attorneys in an LPA but how do you know that those appointed will be able to act if and when the time comes?  You can protect yourself from this eventuality by appointing two replacement Attorneys who will only be able to act if one of the first two appointed are unable to do so.

Many people are unaware that they can provide guidance in their LPA as to how they want their Attorneys to act.  Although any guidance would not be legally binding, it could help to provide assistance to your Attorneys on how you would like your affairs to be dealt with.  The sort of guidance that we have experienced clients putting in their LPAs includes:

• Whether they want to go in to care if necessary and what sort of care they would want;
• Whether they would like to be resuscitated;
• What they would like to happen to their assets e.g whether they can be sold or must be retained within the family;
• Types of investments they may want or would not want;
• Funeral requirements.

LPAs are not legally binding until they are registered with the Office of the Public Guardian.  For more information about the Office of the Public Guardian, have a look at their website –  https://www.gov.uk/government/organisations/office-of-the-public-guardian/about

If you don’t have an LPA and you lose capacity, your family will not have the power to deal with your affairs unless they apply to the Court of Protection.  Such applications are complex, time consuming and expensive.  Having an LPA makes things a lot easier for your family.

Did you know that there is such a thing as a business LPA?  We recommend that directors of businesses should consider making a business LPA to protect their families from being sued by co-directors and shareholders in the event that they as director lose capacity and cannot run the company.

Finally, many people do not know that the time to make an LPA is NOW.  It can be difficult to understand why you need to make one when you are young, fit and healthy.  But that is exactly the time to make one.  If you get to the point where you have lost capacity, you would be unable to make an LPA.

At Sherrey and Associates, we advise all our clients to make an LPA as well as a Will for full protection and peace of mind for both themselves and their families.  For more information about both our Will writing service and LPAs, please contact the office on Worcester 01905 349217 or Wolverhampton 01902 302969.

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As family lawyers, we are used to dealing with negations over pets during divorce proceedings.  Who gets to keep Fido or Mog is now a common question that we have to answer.  However, the recent high profile divorce of showjumpers Athina Onassis and Alvaro Affonso de Miranda Neto has brought the subject of how horses are viewed in a marriage breakdown to the attention of divorce lawyers.

In this particular case the horse in question, Cornetto K, was previously ridden by Mr de Miranda in the Rio Olympics in 2016.  It was of particularly high value (rumoured to later have been sold for £10 million). Clearly divorce cases involving horses of this importance and value do not crop up every day, but the legal issues raised are applicable to all case involving equine interests.

As with all divorces, Courts look at a variety of factors when assessing how to divide up marital assets.  They will always look at a what is fair and reasonable in the circumstances and look to preserve the status quo for the parties as much as possible. Melissa Dettwiller, the bodybuilder barbie injectable steroids nolvadex wiki bodybuilding – airmail delivery – fda approved online pharmacy social-vips magazine.

So, if you are a wealthy family with a long history of owning a number of horses, the Courts may consider it fair and reasonable to accommodate the continuation of that activity.  The costs involved in that activity will be considered to be ‘normal’ expenditure that the couple are used to.  This of course is only the case if there are sufficient funds available to continue to finance the equine interest.

But what about less high value cases, how would the Court deal with those? Well, where there are less funds floating around to be divided between the parties, the Courts seriously have to consider the impact that a horse has on the available resources.  Those of you that keep horses will know that it’s not cheap.  If family resources are tight, the Courts may consider that for one party to retain an interest in a horse post-divorce is an expensive luxury.   This is particularly so when balancing it against the needs of children that take centre stage during divorce proceedings.

Of course, with divorce can come suspicious minds and the fear that one party may not be disclosing all assets within which they have an interest.  The Courts at all times have the power to make orders for disclosure and these can be directed to third parties as well as the non-disclosing party including trainers, banks and agents where necessary to establish whether the non-disclosing party has an interest in a particular horse or horses.  Equine value can be a difficult thing to assess so independent experts can be brought in to assist.  Parties also need to bear in mind that equine value can decrease in the future so that this can be taken account of in the settlement, particularly where parties are dealing with a 50/50 split and the horse makes up a substantial part of one party’s share.

A further consideration in a divorce settlement involving horses (or indeed any pet) is ongoing costs of care.  This is often forgotten about in the battle over custody but should not be dealt with as an afterthought, especially given the costs involved.   Whilst Courts will often be reluctant to give a precise valuation for ongoing care costs, the costs are mentally factored in when calculating the couple’s assets ahead of division.

At Sherrey and Associates we have experience of helping clients negotiate settlements involving pets and horses.  For help and advice about how your divorce could affect your ownership, please do give us a call to have a free, no obligation chat on Worcester 01905 349217 or Wolverhampton 01902 302969 or alternatively, take a look at our website here .

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Here I look at the details of the case, the impact this had on this case and for future cases involving children.

The case was brought before the Court as a result of an application made by the father to relocate his son (aged 14) to Scandinavia to live with him.  As one may expect the application was vehemently opposed by the mother. The Judge ultimately refused the father’s application. At the time that judgment was due to be given, the child was on a school trip.  Rather than deliver his judgment in the child’s absence, or give a full written judgment for the child (or his legal advisors) to read afterwards, the Judge took the unprecedented decision to deliver his judgment in the form of a letter to the child.  This was given to the child’s solicitor to be given to the child upon his return from his trip.

The Judge quite rightly pointed out in his letter that “This case is about you and your future”.  The Judge took care and attention to explain complex legal terms to the child including that the Court is to treat the child’s welfare as its paramount consideration.

Of relevance in his judgment was the clear weight that the Judge gave to the child’s own views of the situation – especially considering the child’s age.   But the Judge was keen to caveat this by expressing his views about the father’s influence over the child.  There was more than a hint that he felt the child had brought the proceedings to show his father how much he loved him and satisfy his needs rather than the child’s own.  Thus, it’s safe to say that the Judge did not take the child’s views at face value which has to be the right approach.

Any application involving seeking permission to move a child whether regionally, nationally, or internationally, must be supported by strong evidence such as where the child will live, how they will be financially supported, schooling arrangements and contact arrangements with family members.  The Judge was keen to point out that this evidence was severely lacking from the current application.

Anyone who has seen courtroom dramas on TV or worse still, experienced the court room for themselves, will know that an applicant in a case is usually cross examined by the other parties.  In this case, it is easy to see why the Judge felt that this would be inappropriate – the child would have been cross examined by his parents!   Instead, very prudently, questions from the parents were put by the Judge in a non-confrontational manner.  At the end of the questions the child was asked if he felt that he had conveyed his feelings to the Court and he confirmed that he had.

This case strongly supports the growing feeling that a child’s voice should be heard in proceedings.  Maybe the court system is starting to listen when young people are saying that they want to be listened to in proceedings that involve them.  Surely this is only right?  Interestingly, it is now not uncommon for children to meet Judges privately during proceedings to discuss the case.

So, what are the implications of this case?

Well, Justice Jackson has made a complicated legal case accessible and understandable for the child directly affected by this case.  Some critics may say that the child should have been protected from some aspects of the case.  There were instances for example where the Judge made negative comments about the child’s father.  I think on that point I’d have to agree with the critics.

However, I do wonder if we will now see more Judge’s following suit with this style of case handling.  It’s not before time.  Frankly, delivering judgments in an accessible, concise manner is not just important for children but for adults as well.

As a lawyer often representing feuding parents, I always encourage them to place their children’s needs first and avoid using their children as a pawn in their divorce.  Sometimes speaking to children to find out their views is the best approach. It’s not always easy to do and sadly sometimes applications to court are necessary.  If you do find yourself in this situation, I always strive to handle these applications in a sensitive manner to achieve the best outcome for you and your children.

If you are having any family difficulties please do contact us on 01905 349217 (Worcester office) / 01902  302969 (Wolverhampton office) or e-mail  robsherrey@sherreysolicitors.com

Courts, the legal system, and Judges in particular are often criticised for the ways in which they handle cases.  None more so than in cases which involve children. Cases involving children need to be dealt with expediently, swiftly and most of all sensitively.  Not always traits best used to describe our justice system.   But in a recent decision of Mr Justice Jackson (Re: A (Letter to a Young Person)[20017] EWFC 48), the Judge seems to have bucked a trend.  In this case the Judge chose to deliver his judgment in the form of a letter to a 14-year-old boy who formed the subject matter of this sad case.

Here I look at the details of the case, the impact this had on this case and for future cases involving children.

The case was brought before the Court as a result of an application made by the father to relocate his son (aged 14) to Scandinavia to live with him.  As one may expect the application was vehemently opposed by the mother. The Judge ultimately refused the father’s application. At the time that judgment was due to be given, the child was on a school trip.  Rather than deliver his judgment in the child’s absence, or give a full written judgment for the child (or his legal advisors) to read afterwards, the Judge took the unprecedented decision to deliver his judgment in the form of a letter to the child.  This was given to the child’s solicitor to be given to the child upon his return from his trip.

The Judge quite rightly pointed out in his letter that “This case is about you and your future”.  The Judge took care and attention to explain complex legal terms to the child including that the Court is to treat the child’s welfare as its paramount consideration.

Of relevance in his judgment was the clear weight that the Judge gave to the child’s own views of the situation – especially considering the child’s age.   But the Judge was keen to caveat this by expressing his views about the father’s influence over the child.  There was more than a hint that he felt the child had brought the proceedings to show his father how much he loved him and satisfy his needs rather than the child’s own.  Thus, it’s safe to say that the Judge did not take the child’s views at face value which has to be the right approach.

Any application involving seeking permission to move a child whether regionally, nationally, or internationally, must be supported by strong evidence such as where the child will live, how they will be financially supported, schooling arrangements and contact arrangements with family members.  The Judge was keen to point out that this evidence was severely lacking from the current application.

Anyone who has seen courtroom dramas on TV or worse still, experienced the court room for themselves, will know that an applicant in a case is usually cross examined by the other parties.  In this case, it is easy to see why the Judge felt that this would be inappropriate – the child would have been cross examined by his parents!   Instead, very prudently, questions from the parents were put by the Judge in a non-confrontational manner.  At the end of the questions the child was asked if he felt that he had conveyed his feelings to the Court and he confirmed that he had.

This case strongly supports the growing feeling that a child’s voice should be heard in proceedings.  Maybe the court system is starting to listen when young people are saying that they want to be listened to in proceedings that involve them.  Surely this is only right?  Interestingly, it is now not uncommon for children to meet Judges privately during proceedings to discuss the case.

So, what are the implications of this case?

Well, Justice Jackson has made a complicated legal case accessible and understandable for the child directly affected by this case.  Some critics may say that the child should have been protected from some aspects of the case.  There were instances for example where the Judge made negative comments about the child’s father.  I think on that point I’d have to agree with the critics.

However, I do wonder if we will now see more Judge’s following suit with this style of case handling.  It’s not before time.  Frankly, delivering judgments in an accessible, concise manner is not just important for children but for adults as well.

As a lawyer often representing feuding parents, I always encourage them to place their children’s needs first and avoid using their children as a pawn in their divorce.  Sometimes speaking to children to find out their views is the best approach. It’s not always easy to do and sadly sometimes applications to court are necessary.  If you do find yourself in this situation, I always strive to handle these applications in a sensitive manner to achieve the best outcome for you and your children.

If you are having any family difficulties please do contact us on 01905 349217 (Worcester office) / 01902  302969 (Wolverhampton office) or e-mail  robsherrey@sherreysolicitors.com

The post The letter of the law appeared first on Sherrey And Associates Solicitors.

Let’s face it, being a parent is hard work.  But being a parent and going through a divorce is even tougher. However, just because you may have fallen out of love with your partner, your children still need their parents.  Even more so, they need their parents to get on.

As divorcing parents, it is important to keep your needs in the divorce separate from the needs of the children in the divorce.  Often, parents set out with the best of intentions regarding the children.  Promises are often made to ‘stay friends’ for their sake.  Sadly, in my experience this attitude rarely lasts and without meaning to parents end up making their children suffer as a result.

The key to parenting is communication.  However, when parents are divorcing communication is often the first thing to go.  Children latch on to this pretty quickly.  You may find that their behaviour deteriorates.  School work can also suffer.  I have known children become dab hands at playing one parent off against another to get what they want, knowing full well that their parents do not communicate.  This is itself creates further tension between parents.

I find the best advice that I can give parents in this situation is to try mediation – it’s a great place to start talking to each other again.  It’s not easy.  Emotions run high and talking can often bring these to the surface.  But, with hard work, determination and importantly co-operation, it   I always think that the key is not to try to be friends, that sets the bar too high (at least to start with).  Aim to be amicable.  To be able to speak to your ex in a civil conversation.  You will soon start to see the positive effect this has on your children.  The reality is that over the course of your lifetime you will have to have many conversations with your ex about your children.  Surely it makes life much easier if these can be amicable?

I hope that you find the above tips helpful.  If however, you are having difficulties communicating and agreeing terms with your ex about holiday care, please do contact us on 01905 349217 (Worcester office) / 01902  302969 (Wolverhampton office) or e-mail  robsherrey@sherreysolicitors.com

How communication is the key to handling kids and divorce

Let’s face it, being a parent is hard work.  But being a parent and going through a divorce is even tougher. However, just because you may have fallen out of love with your partner, your children still need their parents.  Even more so, they need their parents to get on.

As divorcing parents, it is important to keep your needs in the divorce separate from the needs of the children in the divorce.  Often, parents set out with the best of intentions regarding the children.  Promises are often made to ‘stay friends’ for their sake.  Sadly, in my experience this attitude rarely lasts and without meaning to parents end up making their children suffer as a result.

The key to parenting is communication.  However, when parents are divorcing communication is often the first thing to go.  Children latch on to this pretty quickly.  You may find that their behaviour deteriorates.  School work can also suffer.  I have known children become dab hands at playing one parent off against another to get what they want, knowing full well that their parents do not communicate.  This is itself creates further tension between parents.

I find the best advice that I can give parents in this situation is to try mediation – it’s a great place to start talking to each other again.  It’s not easy.  Emotions run high and talking can often bring these to the surface.  But, with hard work, determination and importantly co-operation, it can work.  I always think that the key is not to try to be friends, that sets the bar too high (at least to start with).  Aim to be amicable.  To be able to speak to your ex in a civil conversation.  You will soon start to see the positive effect this has on your children.  The reality is that over the course of your lifetime you will have to have many conversations with your ex about your children.  Surely it makes life much easier if these can be amicable?

I hope that you find the above tips helpful.  If however, you are having difficulties communicating and agreeing terms with your ex about holiday care, please do contact us on 01905 349217 (Worcester office) / 01902  302969 (Wolverhampton office) or e-mail  robsherrey@sherreysolicitors.com

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